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Mental Innuendos & More!
1) My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God and I didn't!
2) I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
3) I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!
4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6) Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10) Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.
11) I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
12) It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.
13) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
14) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
15) Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam.
16) Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
17) Procrastinate Now.
18) My Dog Can Lick Anyone
19) FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.
20) MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT
21) He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
22) HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH.
23) A PICTURE IS WORTH A 1000 WORDS, but it uses up a 1000 times the
24) HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken,
a lifetime commitment for a pig.
25) The trouble with life is there's no background music.
26) The original "point and click interface" was a Smith & Wesson.
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